Ok, been awhile, should update.
After stripping the entire loom out of the donor car and removing or chasing all of the required wires, i started looking at the wires to the abs module, as the module changed ml to mn with the addition of stability control and traction control. Sure enough, different plugs and pinouts. But the wire was the same colour... and already there! Surprised, i went looking. The wiring on the back rails for the compressor and activation switch were there. Behind the dash, so was the wiring for the switch... and the ecu. So i checked the pinouts and the colours... all matched. i plugged in the ecu and the switch and the pump, turned on my ignition, and a new light came on under the 4wd indicator... r/d lock. It flicked off with all the others after a couple seconds. So i selected 4h and hit the button... the light came on, the pump started and a second later the three abs, trac and stability lights came on. Success!
Still waiting for busy mechanic friend to redo seals and bearings in the actual diff so it can be fitted, but the wiring is done. And in the meantime, I've just bought an e locker for the front to go in at the same time the ratios are changed...
32s, 4.3s and twin locked, come at me! Just need a diff drop and uca kit now